Hand with Heart in the middle The Life Coach

“When the Japanese mend a broken object, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something has suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.”

~Barbara Bloom  


I have been reading a lot lately about responsibility. Bob Proctor says, “Responsibility is a choice and it truly is the key to freedom. Your future can be everything you have ever dreamed about and then some. You have the talent and tools to experience one beautiful day after another. That is, in fact, what the architect of the universe had in mind for you when you were created.”


Bob also introduces his good friend and mentor, Val Van De Wall, who wrote, “When a person takes responsibility for their life and the results they are obtaining, they will cease to blame others as the cause of their results. Since you cannot change other people, blame is inappropriate. Blaming others causes a person to remain bound in a prison of their own making. When you take responsibility, blame is eliminated and you are free to grow.” Each time we blame others for our lives the prison we make for ourselves is filled with gold — however, it is Fools Gold. It has no value and in fact, deceives us into thinking that others have control of our lives and we are not responsible. But what we really need is real gold, the real gold of personal accountability.

Fools gold being poured from a jarA few years ago, I had an experience at work that was not only damaging to my self-image, it resulted in my being demoted in my job. I was very hurt and it was difficult to release the blame I had for the people who I felt were responsible for the entire situation. My motivation to do well at work was diminished. I had lost several friends because they had lied and my life was losing its happiness. I talked often about these people and how my life was so much worse because of them. I honestly felt that I was in a mental prison with a life sentence. I now realize the prison I was building for myself was filled with Fools Gold. It took several months and a lot of therapy to regain my self-worth and begin to choose responsibility in my job and my life.


Dr. Rollo May, a distinguished psychiatrist, once wrote, “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.” It requires great courage to take responsibility for your life. It’s so much easier to blame someone else or something outside of you. George Bernard Shaw said, “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, they make them.”


The last quote I have is from the famous W. Clement Stone. “Taking 100% responsibility means you acknowledge that you create everything that happens to you. It means you understand that you are the cause of all your experiences. If you want to be really successful, and I know you do, then you will have to give up blaming and complaining and take total responsibility for your life – that means all your results, both your successes and your failures. It is only by acknowledging that you have created everything up until now that you can take charge of creating the future you want.”


It is easy to blame others even as far back as our childhood. The school bully, our siblings, and especially our parents. One of the things that I learned quite a long time ago is that my siblings were trying to get by in life as well as they could, the same as I was. And once I became a parent it was driven home that my parents had been doing the best they knew how. Did they make mistakes along the way that made my life difficult? Sure, but I also made mistakes with my own children. I urge each of us to release the injuries that we believe are still ruling our lives and grab hold of personal responsibility to bring ourselves great freedom. We will find no value in the Fools Gold. Let’s fill our lives with the true gold of personal accountability. That will bring the real Gold Rush.


“Grab Hold of Life With Both Hands”multiple hands in unityWho’s with me?

Rita Young